I'm sorry that you're going through this, Tracy. Words fail me right now. I don't think that there is any "right" thing to say. It would be insufficient to say "hang in there" at this point of your illness. You have been trying to do just that. But, know that whichever treatment course that you choose to take, we are all with you in our thoughts. I agree with your ND that your mind has had a lot to deal with. I hope that things improve for you soon.