I know what you mean about the appreciation of life part. The thing that upsets me is basically for the last twenty years I have had a bloody awful life, apart from my children and then for one year met the perfect partner, had a good job, nice house and every day I thought how grateful I was that finally this had happened to me and I appreciated every minute of the day, then just one year later overnight it all turned to crap because of the illlness. So I had a short taste of what it was like to appreciate life, so you can see my dismay, just one year and then up to now almost 3 years of hell. And so like everyone else I guess I ask myself why, what did I do, hadnt I already paid enough, but I suppose there is a plan for us all and we cant change that. I guess I just feel tired of fighting for normality, I feel like Ive been forced to do that all of my adult life, apart from that one year and nobody could have been more grateful for it than me. And yes I feel Ive been robbed, I dont want a lot just a normal life for me and my family as we all do. Ive said if I could just have five more years like that one I would be content. I guess I have to carry on fighting but sometimes you wonder why you have to fight so hard just for a normal existence. Hugs Tracy