Anonymous - I was suspecting somebody would write this. The thing is, I wouldn't be wiritng this if it really wasn't bad. I am not saying that I will become permanently crazy , but I am so close at times.
The thing I worte:

"i think it's happening"

I regret it now, couple of hours later when I feel a bit better, I wouldn't write this at the moment, it looks like I'm trying to draw attention.
But it's not that - my brain is going to extreme these days, and fact of a matter is I am getting worse. What I wrote that I said I wouldn't write is true - my personality has been affected so much that I'm not myself anymore even at the slightest. Although I still function - somewhat - I feel like going through a maze with a blindfold and I truly don't know anymore If I'm sane. I just lost myself, although I'm not seeing things, or hallucinating. I just am in a such a dark place, and even my family don't understand me. If they heard me what I'm telling u now, they would have me locked up.

I resort to you through these postings to check if I'm still sane, for some kind of reinvestment, I don't know... it's like you're the only people who can undrstand my situation. Or like the post above it's a combination of cry for help and personality crash.

Actually you know? I really don't know what I wanted to say.

I do appreciate your time and desire to help though.