going back these 2 weeks, I wanted to thank everybody for your input. You are all so great and suportive, a fantastic group of people.

Unfortunetely I haven't been able to answer because of the bad sate I have been in. I'm making use of a moment of (just a bit better) clarity to write this thing, and have to say I'm definetely getting worse.
Sorry to say this, but I AM loosing sanity. I thought about it today, and came to conclusion that although it's right that you can't be insane and still be aware of it, that's not all. It's the practical side that speaks of your sanity. It's about the extent of passiveness. Like me , I have been aware of the fact that Im going insane, BUT THAT'S WHERE MY CONSCIOUSNESS ENDS. I'm loosing grasp of all the other things in daily life , I can barely write this post. And with each day its worse. I cant even follow a daily routine of taking supplements, and I know I lost some very basic life skills, but can't even name them! I just don't know what is real and what isn't anymore, I stopped to be even a permissible judge of my condtion. I know I wanted to say more in this post, but that's it, I really don't know what it is.

I think I can't take care of myself anymore, but the things is I really don't know that I did.

Is what I'm wiriting making sense to you?