I don't think you are insane. You say that you don't have access to words anymore. That is not true. Your post is well written even tough it is not in your native language. You brain is still working well otherwise you would not be able to write this. Tracy is absolutely right, if you are insane you don't realise that anymore.

One of the symptoms of mercury poisoning is that you FEEL
like you are becoming insane. In reality you are not insane and will never be but the poison makes you feel like you are a psycho.

Read that posts of the people here that are severly poisoned with mental symptoms, none of them is insane. They are in very bad shape and difficult situation, but I see only posts of rational and intelligent people.