Hi Everybody,

Its been a while....I am in so much trouble. Had the worst month of my life this past month, any explanations or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Its all started begining last month, life was so good and my future looked so bright, then i got the flu, tried to fight it myself, never took any meds, during this month i slowly but surely started experiencing all my mental mercury symptoms again and an entirely new and much more scary one. The Guilt. I started feeling guilty about being alive cause im such a bad peroson and i make evryone around me's lives a missery blah blah blah

A week ago i was rushed to hospital with such a high fever and low blood pressure I should've been dead, turns out i have a respiratory and gastro infection that i am now on antibiotics for.

Guys I am terrified here where i sit because it feels like ive gone straight back to the beginning of this mercury journey. I am devestated. I fight with my BF constantly nit pik, am insanely paranoid, dont believe a word he says when logically i know its true and then I go on my guilt trip where I beat myself up for being so horrible to the one person who least deserves this. I love him so much and I know im pushing him away, the more he tries to get closer the uglier I am. Its just so crazy because I know its not me thats doing this "if you know what i mean" feels like aliens have taken over and turned me into a which.

Please help me, I need some support, whats happened to me. I am so deperatley suicidal over this as pathetic as that sounds, I am just so tired of this constant battle going on in my mind, over and over and over a battle that Im never wining, its exhausted me I just want to switch my brain of to end it all...... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Hi Tgoss, I'm really sorry to hear of this <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> but what you're getting is not abnormal. Unfortunately, this is what occurs. You get amalgams replaced, you do what you can to control symptoms, eat right etc and you get a sense of actually feeling quite normal and life seems like it's good again.

Problem is, the mercury that is still in you that has not been chelated out is still there. As soon as your immune system plummets from whatever reason, wham you cop it and you go straight back down into the world of mercury poisoning again.

Also, this may have set off this response of the second stage of suffering. This is where the stored mercury will begin to start erupting and leaking out. This occurs a few months after the last amalgam was removed. It can happen naturally, or something can set it off. Your flu, may have pushed this into occuring, and/or your body has simply fallen under the weight of the mercury still present in you.

This is the only expalantion I can give. You were poisoned all that time, but your body was managing to hold up because you were obviously doing all you could to maintain a balance of feeling. But this flu has shown you still have a significant storage and problem with it.

I would suggest to you if I may, that if you've slipped on the diet at all, to get back on it strictly and make sure youre having all the good fats, like butters, lard, extra virgin olive oil, organic coconut oil. Eating meat and eggs, vegetables, etc.

But I would get yourself on a chelatin protocol, a safe one that will begin to chelate this mercury that is still in you and will continue to be a problem anytime you are vulnerable, you'll be hit down to experience the same poisoning symptoms.

I would advise you to read this link here and get aquainted with this, as it's the safest and most effective I have come across yet.

http://home.earthlink.net/~moriam/ANDY_INDEX.html

You will be able to read through this and find out what it's about and be able to get hold of these chelating agents and begin to remove the mercury which is causing these problems.

Rememeber though, once you've had all your amalgams out, there is a horrible process that many go through as I mentioned. The stored mercury has got to begin leaking out of you and this is a nightmare. You can help this process by chelation.

I'm really sorry to hear of this and I was wondering how you've been and obviously this has dumped you back into nightmare zone.

Chelation should help.

Hello, I feel for you cause I am in the same boat...I thought I was pretty smart cause I got away with a few cheats over Christmas and then I had a glass of wine New Year's eve and that put me over the top. What a way to start the new year and a very good lesson!!!

I don't know if you are doing the diet, avoiding gluten and dairy and sugar, but I strongly recommend it, I can feel all the symptoms coming back too, not as bad as before, but if I would have continued on, I would be right back with the nightmares, anxiety and depression and feelings of worthlessness too. Mainly it is my digestion that is affected, but ultimately it affects my moods too. The anger and irritability is all sneaking back again. Our livers are severely compromised by the metals and we have to be good to them so we can get better.

So now I am eating smaller meals, taking bitters, boiled flax gel, aloe vera gel to optimize digestion as well as the ongoing milk thistle and dandelion for liver support. And I am using Algin, to help eliminate the toxins as my body cleans out again.

I also drink a warm glass of water with sea salt every am, to cleanse and detox and then 2 more glasses of warm water rigtht after. Lots of water all day long. And very easy to digest meals....not alot of red meat or raw veggies, mainly lightly steamed veggies or soups....just until you start to feel better.

Your body may be overloaded with toxins from the flu, so give yourself lots of TLC, dry brushing, epsom salts baths, yoga or mild stretching and try to fit in at least 30 minutes of walking a day....that is crucial for our lymph system to pump out the toxins.

Hope this helps and you feel better soon.

Sandi
xoxo

Hello tgoss, the feelings of guilt and feeling absolutely worthless are what i experience quite alot, i quite often tell my partner to leave me and take the kids with him, cos im just not worth it.
I feel like im making everyone miserable.
So your not alone, i have had these feelings since removal.
Its not all the time though, so dont worry those feelings dont stay, its just the mercury and you have to remind yourself of that but its not easy.
Like sandi and Bex have said always try and stick to the diet, its very important. Take Care, Dawn.

when did had you your amalgams removed? I had similiar experience felt great for 2-3 months and then worse than ever. What you experience could be a 'healing crisis'

Thanks so much everyone,

I had my 2 amalgams removed almost a year ago, end feb will be one year, Dawn sorry to say but im so glad you can relate, I even abuse our pets (not physically), I used to think everyone else was against me except my man, he was my refuge, then that all stopped and i was so happy, now i think he's out to get me, i'll have a few minutes every now and then when the old me returns and im so happy and at peace with him and then BANG he opens his mouth and im disecting and analising and trying to catch him out cause im convinced he's done something wrong. im so sorry to carry on about it but its just so crazy. Feel like im going schizo, im all sweet and nice and the next minute i want to rip he's throat out, I dont know how he's still living with me.

Dawn are you still suffering with this, ive found healing from mercury happens in cycles, emotionally i'll suffer with a specific issue for a month or two and then i overcome it, then its another and overcome that, this takes the cake though. thought i was through the worst, i just hope and pray this is not a permanent thing cause its killing us and im about to lose the most precious person in my life, if he doesn't walk away i'll have to cause i just cant abuse him anymore.

What is a healing crisis?

Yes i still get it, i ve had it for ages, its one thing after another in my head, im lucky i still have my family.
I feel like a bitter and twisted old cow sometimes but other times when the real me comes through i realise it is the mercury. I know im not like that really, i like a peaceful happy life.

Hi Tgoss,

That second stage of suffering can take around 6 months - to a year to kick in properly. Maybe what you're getting. It happens to many people and they go into a state of shock wondering what happened. Everything floods back, sometimes even worse than it was originally.

I am sorry to hear this and believe me, I know how it feels. I am suicidal daily now and live with my father (I cannot even go out, let alone get into a relationship, I busted one up years ago because of this). So I know it's not much consolation, but at least you know you're not alone in this.

Andy Cutler talks about his in his book and recommends DMSA to help a person get through this stage. I'm not forcing on you, but it may help you. You can get it over the internet, if you want to know more, let me know. I'll leave it up to you though.

If there is one thing in this, no matter what you are suffering and what torment you are under, none of this is you and none of it is your fault, even if you think it is or you feel it is, it's not. If anything happens between you and your boyfriend, you are not to blame yourself at all. Someone who is well and functioning and is deliberately mean, maybe then, you are very ill and it is tough for any person to be around the toxic. It is a big ask and often bordering on the impossible. This is why my father is the only one that deals with me, nobody else will.

It is a lot of pressure on you to hold onto him and fight away these digusting symptoms and then have the guilt associated with it, which is not deserving at all. Just to exist with this is enough.

The way I treat my father is terrible when I'm this way and right now, I'm getting no relief, so I now shut myself in my room. If he comes in, I get mad automatically and fearful for no reason. If he says somethign, I barely answer, or I jump down his throat. I feel awful, I hate myself for it, but it's like something in me is driving me almost insane. If he says something I'll take it personally and then I'll accuse him of having a joke at my expense or putting me down and he just stares at me like "what the?". The only reason he sticks around is because he's my dad. I'd be on my own otherwise, in a mental hospital or under the ground.

Sorry for the negative reply here, but just want you to know you're not alone and i know it's just some type on a screen, but we are with you. I hope your boyfriend can somehow hold on, even if yu guys need your space. He needs to know the nature of this and needs to know it is not you at all. Not his fault, and sure the heck aint yours either.

Thats such bad news dawn,

Bex thats exactly what im doing lately, locking myself in the study just to avoid being ugly, so suicidal as well. I cant bear this again whats even more devestating is that i thought id finished this darn race and come out the other side, a bit battered and bruised but alive nonetheless. now im back in the black hole s#$@%&* <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> dont want to bore you all anymore with my rants and raves

Hi Tgoss, It's like me. I get a patch where I think I may have slightly overcome ONE angle of things and something else hits and I have to start all over again and usually the next time it occurs, I have to make biggger and bigger efforts to improve, almost like whatever is inside of me gets a stronger resistance to my efforts. I assume it's candida for me, but I know something else is holding my immune system at such a low level (possibly viral infection and cavitations). But I can't even get well or strong enough to get dental work done. I'm that ill.

No you're not boring anybody at all. Feel free to let loose!!!

Also, just to let you know something. The flu is actually devastating by itself at times, when a toxic person with immune system challenges gets it, the effects can be totally nightmarish and can last a LONG time. So this might be what's happening to you. There is also such a thing as post flu depression on top of the fact it pulls your immunity down so your other issues become far worse.

Not sure how long it lasts, but I am hoping your immune system will recover from the flu hit you got and begin coming up gradually again.

Now on top of this, you had antibiotics. which you had to have, and I had them too. They on their own are horrific to the immune system and all your issues will return ten fold, candida and all.

So one month may not be enough to start coming out of this. I suggest again, diet and supplements, Lots of vitamin C, B complex etc, and yu may need probiotics to replace what the antibiotics have WIPED OUT. Trust me,they're lethal.

tgoss.
I think the emotional symptoms from the mercury can be so scary. I was feeling like I was doing very well and just decided to add in a new probiotic. Within 4 days I was crying everyday and having very negative and paranoid thoughts. I stopped the probiotic and it went away. Even my doctor couldn't explain why I reacted that way. I think starting back on the algin helped me t get rid of the emotional symptom a lot.
We all have weakened immune systems from mercury. When you got the flu on top of it, it must have weakened yours even more and you got another infection on top of that. You could also now be feeling some die off from the antibiotic killing off some bad bacteria in the gut and releasing toxins and mercury. I would suggest taking algin to decrease the mercury symptoms and maybe ask your doctor about taking Floraster so that you don't increase the yeast in the gut while on the antibiotic. I buy my Floraster from Amazon and it is cheaper than buying it at the pharmacy.
If you would like more information on the floraster let me know. Are you taking algin?
chigirl

TGoss, since the flu triggered all your symptoms have you considered that the root cause may be pathogenic? I have been thinking lately - like Bex has mentioned for himself - that bacterial or viral problems may be preventing me from getting well. I have been doing intense chelation for over 1 year, and had some improvement at first but now feel sicker than ever. A few days ago I started on the marshall protocol. We shall see.....

Maybe your adrenals are still weak and the flu hit them hard. Are you taking Adrenal support?

How sick were you before amalgam removal? How do you chelate?

Hi, my issues are severe brain fog and moderate fatigue. I did DMSA+ALA (Cutler protocol) and some EDTA suppositories for about 4 months, then went all out and did weekly IV's alternating DMPS and EDTA, glutathione shots, replenish minerals, etc. for 1 year. I haven't had amalgams but there is always exposure to mercury and I have bad genes for detox (APOE 3/4, null GSTM, null GSTD). I kept at it because it seemed to reach at the problem - I felt badly for 4-5 days but then there was a window period of my brain fog clearing up ..... but overall my health was declining. Now I am thinking the 4-5 days period was stirring up of bacteria sequestered with metals (symptoms included fever) giving my immune system a chance to kill some of them off.

Hi,

I think it could be pathogenic, definately but where do i start. I have only chelated with EDTA IV's which i stopped a few months back and some homeopathic remedy which i never used for too long, this mostly helped before removal with anxiety and depression, i really think it saved my life pre-removal. I really dont know where to start now, how would you persuit a pathogen problem???

I had the exact same problem 2 years ago, identical bug, identical symptoms. After the bug cleared up I had severe depression, anxiety, irrational thoughts etc (Dr said it was toxic psychosis from the antibiotic i was given called cyprobay) and all the other symptoms, after hundreds of tests the Dr told me was all in my head, i should see a psychologist. I then found out about mercury and persued that, blood tests showed higher then normal levels had amalgams removed, started chelation, felt much much better, started to take control of my life again and now its like dejevu all over again, the exact same thing. Only this time theres no mercury in my mouth, any ideas? Im out of solutions

HI Tgoss, you've had all amalgams removed and started to at some point get control of things and now all your symptoms are back. Whatever triggered this, natural, flu, antiobiotics, MANY people are going to be hit by their old symptoms, as the mercury still in you needs to come out.

Though you have no amalgams, you still have mercury stored in tissue and organs. Who knows how much is there and when it leaks back out, the symptoms are re-experienced again. Antibiotics by the way (and you won't believe this one), they kill so much bacteria, that they can be dangerous to a mercury toxic person. Not only because they destroy flora, but so many yeasts/bacteria contain mercury, when they are destroyed in a large number, all that mercury can be spilled back into your blood stream and feel like repoisoning.

There are so many aspects as to what well may ahve caused this in you. Control of pathogens is one thing, with the strict diet etc, but removal of the mercury that has been released (or is continually releasing from tissue/organs), needs to be chelated out.

I believe the way to do that is the safest way I know, Andrew Hall Cutler's way. He understands the method of mercury chelation better than anybody I know. You can find out about him by typing his name in on the internet and finding out about his protocol.

Take care and I hope that you can start to get this stuff back out of you. REmoving the source (amalgams) is like turning off the tap, but what happens when the stored poison starts to leak out again? It just simply fills your blood back up with mercury. IT's got to be chelated out.

Bex.