I find I get spurts every now and again to go out and socialize because sometimes it makes me feel more normal but like yesterday I felt i wanted to be out so i took Keith to work so that i could have the car. Then i drove to my daughters, which is about 20 miles away. We had a drink at her house and I played with my grandaughter for a while, then we went Tesco, after about ten minutes inthere I started to feel extremely weak and tired so I had to come home I then felt so physically ill I had to spend the rest of the day in bed. Didnt sleep a wink last night and am absolutely exhausted. It always seems with me if I make the effort to do something and even if Im happy and enjoying it I then have to be tortured by the physical part to such an extent I pay for days. So I get so despondent cos its like you get a glimpse of what life could be like and then realize your just not up to it. I get so uset when this happens because I feel Im letting people down. Its 12pm and Ive just managed some housework, my daughter is home at two so I have to force myself to get dressed and do things otherwise I feel so guilty. If only my body would start to heal but its getting weaker and I was so much fitter mentally and physically this time last year.