Some of you may have read my recent post on possible mercury in the brain after the dentist visit 5 weeks ago. Well guys... after 5 weeks, I can say I'm a living deadman.

That's how I feel. I don't feel a human anymore, let alone myself, I feel like a walking zombie - and it's not just a ... yeah, can't find the right word... an analogy, I guess. That's what I feel like.

Went yesterday to see thge new bond flick, Casino Royale. It didn't stir me (no pun intened) at all. I felt NOTHING , it didn't spark any emotions in me, plus I couldn't follow the plot. I couldn't understand what was going on.

I feel like regressed a lot mentally. I have no intelligence at all. I feel as if I had thousand of splinters in my brain, as if the brain matter in me hardened. I feel sooo afraid that I'm having some permanent brain damage from the mercury in my brain. Everything feels so scarse, one-dimentional, I feel detached from reality. I REALLY FEEL like a dementia patient.
I feel emotionally dead, I scream at my parents, my mother cries asking me to spare her some of her nerves that come from me shouting, but I don't feel like emortionally compelling. I feel no empathy. I forget things I knew a couple of weeks ago - that particulary pertains to language. Have trouble finding the right word, or finding the meaning for the right word. I feel like parts of my brain have evaporated, like from billions of nerve connections there are only thousands left.

I have absolutely no motivation. I just sit there, in my room doing nothing.

I have never felt so bad, like a mental retard.

Surprisingly. I don't have much of other mercury symptoms. No muscle twitches, (which were very coommon before the mercury removal), no burning, no liver/kidney pain. I'm thinking my kidneys/liver aren't exctreting it all, and it all cumulates in my brain. I know this, because only after taking some liver herbs did I feel some clearence in the fog at the same time getting liver pain.

I really feel this is the end for me.