My brain feels like it's shutting down. I have never felt this sick, crazy or screwed up in the 18 or so years that this crap has been in my mouth. I am finally losing it, totally. It is so scary. It started getting really bad on Friday, and is still the same or getting worse. It is the most intense "brain fog", that I've ever had. I feel like my brain is not even in my body, it is floating around somewhere. I have been telling my husband all weekend, that I feel like I am constantly drunk, or I have a big hangover. I am no longer me. I also talked to him about how sad it is, that people all over the world can feel like I do right now, and they are either getting doped up with drugs from their GP, or they are put in an institution. I am not exaggerating one bit, I am writing this in a total daze, with tunnel vision. My head is pounding, and I just feel like my body or brain has finally reached the point where it can't take anymore poison. The only thing I am grateful for, is that I *know* what is doing this to me. If I hadn't ever found out it was mercury, and I started feeling like this, I truly would probably be in an institution. I started making a web site the other day, and when the daze calms down a bit (it does get a little better and worse as the day progresses, but is always bad now), I am going to work on it some more. Even if I can reach one more person and save them from the way I feel right now, it will be worth it. I plan on helping as many as I can when I get well.

On a brighter note, I have an appointment for Monday the 20th with the dentist I found that is 2 hours away from me. The assistant called me yesterday, and in my toxic stupor, I actually understood what she was saying and it was so nice to actually "talk" to another human being that understands. I had e-mailed them on Monday about my condition, and she was very understanding, and said that I sound "Very Toxic" right now, and they want to see me right away. I am going to get a full consultation, with x-rays and they said they are very workable as far as making a treatment plan/payment arrangements. (Jigsaw health won't be doing anymore funding until Jan 1, and I'm still going to be having some amalgams to be removed come Jan, so I am hoping I get accepted for it in the next round of recipients). They do in fact want to try and remove some of the amalgam, when I come, so we will see what happens. I am so excited and so scared, and I wish I could've got this all squared away a few weeks ago, when my mind wasn't like it is right now. Just pray for me you guys, I am really scared and I don't know why, I guess because I am finally losing control of myself. Since my brain has been doing this the last few days, I have cried a lot, and also flew into crazy fits of rage that are totally unlike me. When I finally calm down, I can't believe it's ME doing these things. I have never enjoyed feeling out of control. It like being really really drunk, and not being able to ever get sober. I am really scaring myself.
I will try and keep posting about what is going on with me, and maybe Russ will let me post my story on here, because I have a LONG way to go, and I have hit rock bottom right now.