lol, I know exactly what your talking about with the relationship thing. I haven't been in a relationship for about 2 years now, and even then I have never in all my life been really serious with anyone. I'm not boasting or anything, but in the past girls have told me I am pretty good looking, and people have found it strange that I continue to be single, some even thinking I'm gay just like you said lol.

The truth is there is just no real motivation for me to have a relationship really, which has been the same in all my life so far. I mean its nice to have someone, but when I do I'm still not happy, and all my mental issues have tended to magnify, and you end up being a liability to the other person anyway.

Its funny tho, as soon as your depression lifts and your outlook becomes more positive (which has happened several times so far in my life only to come crashing down again) all you can think about is the good things in life like finding partners and meeting people socially. Mayb I've been in a deep depression for so long now that its totally oblivious to me that I am still very depressed, and I've mistakenly accepted this to simply be my personality.

Anyway I really do think I need an antidepressant, and just see how thats goes, it might even flick the switch off in my brain that is causing this problem, that would be fantastic..

By the way, are you feeling bad in relation to mercury symptoms? Do you think you are still very toxic? If so do you juice vegetables at all. You might already, but I found that juicing carrots and beetroot helped my mercury symptoms a lot, who knows why...