I'm in really bad shape, folks. I'm having a lot of psychotic and suicidal thoughts and everything that I try fails to help me. My therapist has suggested hospitalization and I'm seriously thinking about it. I doubt that they can do anything to help me in the hospital and yet I fear that I will end my life if I don't get some relief from this pain.

Andy Cutler warns readers of his book to never go into the hospital and he has some good reasons for that. In general most physicians don't believe in chronic mercury poisoning and they won't give people like us appropriate care.

I've been lucky to find some open minded people, even in the mental health field, that believe that I am suffering from mercury poisoning so that is in my favor.

I've been doing the Cutler Protocol (25 mg of DMSA and 50 mg of ALA) and although I have greatly lowered the doses of my chelating agents they still seem to aggravate my symptoms a lot.

What should I do? I'm open to all sorts of ideas because I don't want to go into the hospital but my options now are limited. I'm thinking about stopping all chelation for awhile to see if that will make me improve. On the other hand that could be the worst thing that I could do.

Also, I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and the dark days of Autumn are pulling my spirits down and it's only going to get worse.