Hi there, I am really going to try and type this post as nicely as I can without being "negative".

I have had moments of having a slight sense of feeling better and suddenly I'll be positive and I have overwhelming urge to go preach this to others. But I stop myself and recall how I am under the cloud of this illness, which is the total opposite and to realise how glib and patronising this can often come across to those suffering badly. I usually get pulled back to my senses very quicly when the cloud of depression and illness comes back.

Please recall how you were when you were at your worst and don't forget this. It is all too easy to forget and start thinking that all it takes is effort to be positive, or breath deeply (how I wish that were true). It takes a less toxic body/mind or an improved immune system to begin to be able to gather more inner strength, even if it's not much but a bit as most human beings are naturally positive and happy. Some of us are not having such luck with healing and have striven for years (so far for me it's 20 years of sickness). If being positive was all it was about, I'd have healed a long time ago.

I am a naturally positive and sociable person and this and many other health issues have torn me apart as a human being. you think it's possible to be strong and positive until you are in its grip totally. Then it's only about hanging on day to day, putting on a brave front or mask to others, feeling crushed inside. If one puts on a false act to others, they assume nothing is wrong and that you're lying about being ill. If you express your pain, suddenly you're "negative" or "moaning".

The fact people get on here and share their pain and strive for answers, hanging on day to day making marathon efforts and not always succeeding outdoes any mere comment of "be positive". To me, it's borderline heroic. Most of us have gone through total hell on earth. Many people with this toxicity have ended up in mental hospitals, some ended their lives. The fact i'm still here or not in a mental hospital, should never give me any right to think I am simply more positive than they are. It makes me think where I could have ended up or could end up (nobody knows for sure) and I should be thankful.

I hope and pray that if I should ever get through this and get well that I recall how I was at my worst and don't start preaching to others the obvious. Being positive is basically staying alive for many, feeling happy and having a remote sense of wellbeing is often a dreamed of luxury.

i'm sure you made those comments with the best of intentions, but I hope you realise we are not stupid, we are adults with a serious illness, trying to find out serious answers. . Most of us have been years trying to get well, detoxing etc. when one does not get results, it is devastating.

This is actually one of the worst things you can say to a toxic person, as this is exactly what they want and can't feel. When they are under pressure to conform to this, it can cause them to snap. All very well if it's external circumstnces and not overly severe, but if someone is toxic and cannot feel how they should or gather enough inner strength, they should not have to feel more of a failure for it. They have enough to contend with already.