Don't think God sides with that behaviour Tracy. He closest to the suffering, the sick, the abandoned and the humble. Even to sinners who feel they are too dirty to come near Him. Humility and sorrow for sin and the willingness to improve, even when continaully failing or falling gains more pleasure from God, than the haughtiness or arrogance of someone who thinks they are righteous becuase in their eyes, they have no sin.

This is not to offend anybody here who does not believe or has another faith, this is just my belief from my own faith.

It is very very hard to feel any closeness to God, if one does have a personal faith. What makes it harder is, those who you think should be kind, are often contrary to Christ, yet have the name "Christian". I'm not belittling your pain Tracy, I think it stinks how you were treated and those at church etc, it's no wonder you left. But I hope somehow, somewhere if youhave any glimmer still there, you won't let them destroy it.