Hi Jason, I agree with everything you've said. It is very hard for anybody going through this to hold onto any faith and if they do have any left, it's often in tatters.

I find it hard to be any kind of Christian/Catholic person at all. I don't go to church most of the time, I don't pray most of the time, I feel wretched and I lash out at others a lot because I feel so ill. I can well imagine what they must think of my faith, as I am not a good representation of it, but I am just human too, I fail and wish i could be better.

Don't get me wrong, there are Christians/Catholics (in name only) who behave indifferently and unkindly, but if I focussed on them and my own failings, I'd give up completely.