Wow Aaron, you ask deep questions! This seems like a tough one to answer--this is a very thought-provoking question. I wonder if there could be a lot of variables that could contribute to this, possibly more than just mercury poisoning--although I do think that mercury poisoning could be a large contributing factor here.

I agree with Bex that generally speaking a believer's road is not easy, as we are admonished to take up our own cross (Matt. 10:38). We are also told that we need to strive just to enter the strait gate and narrow way that leadeth unto life (Matt. 7:13, 14; Luke 13:24). If one does word studies on the Greek words for 'strait' and 'narrow', it implies that the believer's journey is full of many obstacles, in addition to tribulation, pressure, and agony of soul--also echoed in Acts 14:22, as well as Psalm 22, Psalm 88, Psalm 119:107, Lamentations 3, and many others. It is also interesting to note the similarities between Psalm 88 and Jonah's prayer in Jonah chapter 2.

It may also be possible that your feelings of separation from God could be coming from perceiving the increased evil in the world that we see now, and that we know will become even worse in the near future (Matt. 24:7-13). With Bush's passage of anti-terrorism legislation yesterday, Americans are now in very real danger of being taken to the concentration camps in the future without so much as a real trial with legal counsel, or even a listing of the charges being brought against them. No concrete definition of a terrorist has been made by the goverment, which leaves it wide open for defining it to suit their purposes at any given time. No wonder that these days are part of the 'beginning of sorrows'.

I think that it's often difficult to feel God's love and compassion in the world when there is such a marked absence these days of human love and compassion in the world as well. We were originally made in God's image to perfectly love one another, but that image and love is now distorted and perverted due to our fallen nature. It also appears to get worse collectively as time passes throughout history. I think that I have heard it said that in the 20th century, more people were killed than in all centuries combined before that. It unfortunately looks as though the 21st century will make that figure look pretty rosy in hindsight. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Sometimes I find that it helps to pray for myself to be able forgive these dentists and those in the Illuminati that have made my life such a struggle (Matt 5:44-45). I believe that their deceptions often primarily fall under the categories of greed, arrogance, haughtiness, and presumption. I try to keep in mind that I have my own deceptions to deal with in life, otherwise if I knew what they were, they wouldn't be deceptions. Hopefully there are others in this world that are praying to forgive me of the wrongs that I have done to them as well.

I guess this is an overly-long attempt to partially answer to a short question, and once again I am all over the page. I'd like to think that this is part of my mercury poisioning too...it's hard to keep a train of thought these days. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Aaron, I hope that whatever the reason behind your feelings of separation from God, that you will be able to find a way to close that gap and find the comfort in your relationship to God that you are looking for. I can relate what you feel like, because sometimes it seems like He is miles away, especially these days. Hang in there and don't get too discouraged (Heb. 10:23-25; Heb. 12:1-13)--I think that what you are feeling is normal and OK. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Jason