hey everyone, just wanted to let you all know that I stopped chelating with ALA, and am virtually going back to the drawing board. The reason for this is very bizarre tho, the ALA really did help I feel, and probably for the past month I have really felt back to normal again, and it feels great. But i may aswell not be feeling good because something is still wrong, something I really can't explain, which makes it so unbearingly frustrating!

I've suffered from anxiety and depression ever since I can remember, and its safe that they are both 80% gone. Still anxious now and then, particularly in social situations, but not nearly as bad as I used to be. So lately I have found my self being rather relaxed in social situations which feels great, however I have very inconsistent phases where I feel relaxed and yet people around me avoid me and don't want anything to do with me, ignore me, are standoffish, and even critical and angry towards me. This happens pretty much in a very wide spectrum of times and places, at work, with my family, out in social outings etc. Lately this "curse" has been happening more than it hasn't, but when it hasn't its very strange: I still feel same levels of anxiety, have same anxious mannerisms, I do everything I percieve as the same as I usually do and yet its like magic! People want to be around me, they look at me not in a critical way but as an equal, they laugh at my jokes, I get more attention from women, and generally life is sooo much easier. I kno people reading this think that its just something to do with anxiety or depression still, but it is not! I kno for sure that it isn't because I feel generally quite the same all the time now, and also I can be extremely anxious socially sometimes but still have people wanting to be around me. Also some people have acctually occasionally commented that Ilook angry when I don't at all, but rather feel quite happy!

This was not caused by ALA either, and I'm pretty sure its been happening for a lot of my life, its just that in the past I was too anxious or depressed to notice. More weird things I have noticed, this "problem" seemed to get better for a short time when I started treating my self for candida again. It also seems better when my digestion is good, with good bowel movements etc. Seems excacerbated by cold weather and having nights drinking alcohol. I think excersise helps but not sure. Its just so frustrating that I don't kno what it is!

I kno I still have issues with digestion, candida, parasites, mercury, and my liver but these are all so much less evident now and symptoms are so mild that I can manage to live with them. Possible things I have thought up which could be causing these social problems include that my facial muscles are tensing or that I am not aware that I am tensing them, and its making me look frightened/anxious/angry. This is my best explanation at the moment, apart the my skin complexion which is often up and down but its still much better than it was.. Could this be mercury or heavy metals in my brain disrupting my facial expression or something?? What do you guys think...

Ok long post I kno, but I had to tell someone, as its making me very lonely, making life very hard and very nearly driving me crazy!