I am literally at the point of breaking at the moment. There is this certain symptom that has plagued me over the years, ruining the way in which i interact with people. The problem is, i have no idea what it is! I know this sounds crazy, and it is! But hear me out.. I have always struggled with social anxieties leading to depression, so I've never really been comfortable in social situations, but lately I have been getting a lot better, and have actually found that I am a social person and people do want to be around me. I guess throughout my 20 years of life I had never really noticed the way people respond to me because I was too focused on my own anxiety.

So lately I have been going to parties, going out, going to work or any other social situations, even at home with my family, and have noticed something very disturbing, and its actually literally making me crazy. I have noticed that the way I feel inside, the anxieties and depression, never really affect the way I look to other people, and i could be really anxious in a situation but people still want to be around me and talk to me. The really weird thing is that it goes the other way around aswell, I can feel calm but must look very anxoius or angry or something because no one wants anything to do with me! For example, I was at a party the other night and when I first got there I was very anxious but I fit in very well, and every one wanted to talk and be around me, however as the night progressively went on I began to notice that slowly people didn't want anything to do with me and i found myself being ignored and basically keeping to myself..

I know all this sounds very weird but its probably my greatest problem at the moment. I told my mum and dad about it but they said not to worry about it and that mayb I should see a shrink. Mayb i should but i don't really think they can help me much. I am very suspicious that the cold weather is causing this as in the summer i have less problems with it, and I'm even more suspicious that the cold weather affects the nerves in my face making me look tense or something, particularly my eyes.

I'd really appreciate anyones comments on this!