I can totally sympathise with you about the wierd head space that you are in. Fortunately, like many of us you are on the right track because you have obviously found a link which is why you have found this website. I have 21 amalgams and suffer from similar thought processes. I have my first holistic dental appointment tomorrow and I just hope like crazy that they aren't going to put me on a really long waiting list to have this muck removed from my mouth.
I find that the scariest thing for me at the moment is driving. Often, whilst I am driving (and I drive a lot for my job) I become totally and utterly paranoid. I constantly feel like I am going to crash into another car or that someone else is going to plough head on into my vehicle. I think a lot of this comes from the fact that I know that my concentration span has decreased so much that I just don't trust myself anymore. I also feel very paranoid having other people in my car as I feel that they are constantly monitoring my driving skills. I often think just how easy it would be to make wrong one turn and end up being wrapped around a telephone pole.
I too feel like people are always talking about me behind my back. My self confidence about practically everything in my life is at an all time low.
I told my mother recently that I am going to spend about $6000 to have my amalgams removed. She said that I was crazy. I gave her a list of all the general symptoms of mercury poisoning and guess what ? She has even more symptoms than I do. For as long as I can remember my mother has always been socially withdrawn (won't answer the phone and can't have any friends or family over until she has had a few wines or serapax to settle her nerves), has every imaginable digestive disorder, athsma, depression, very low self esteem, extreme bouts of anger, oral thrush that has become so bad that her mouth is literally burnt, muscle aches and the list just goes on and on.
I asked her if she would consider having all her amalgams (about 30 odd) and all her root canals redone if I felt considerably better after my removal. She said that she could not justify spending about $10,000 in the hope that she may feel better.
I find this absolutely ludicrous and it literally makes me feel like ripping my hair out. I can't understand why somebody who is as sick her would rather spend $10,000 on an overseas trip (that is what she said she would rather spend it on) and wander around some foreign country feeling tired, depressed and sick all over. I know that I just have to accept that everyone chooses their own path, but when it is your own mother it is heart wrenching.
By the way, the magnesium thing is great. I have been on the verge of a panic attack all day and I took 600 mg of magnesium about 1 hour ago and amazingly I feel SO much calmer now.
Best of luck with everything.