Does anybody else find themselves almost continually clockwatching, almost like the hours just drag by and its like your not living but just existing. I find I do this most of the time now. Is this depression. I seem to spend a lot of time thinking well I might as well just go to sleep, having no motivation to do anything else. Before I was ill I never use to even look at the clock unless I had to be somewhere at a certain time. Now each minute seems like an eternity. Tracy

Time does seem to drag on when you're ill. Don't you just wish that there was some sort of remedy that would just make you as healthy as you were before you were poisoned and it would happen today? All that I know in this regards is that "Cheer up and think positive" does not work with mercury poisoning. I don't care how positive you are, it's a drag to have amalgam illness.

I do know this, that when we are feeling better again (and I believe we will), we will appreciate our lives and our health much more than someone who hasn't been through this.

I know what you mean about the appreciation of life part. The thing that upsets me is basically for the last twenty years I have had a bloody awful life, apart from my children and then for one year met the perfect partner, had a good job, nice house and every day I thought how grateful I was that finally this had happened to me and I appreciated every minute of the day, then just one year later overnight it all turned to crap because of the illlness. So I had a short taste of what it was like to appreciate life, so you can see my dismay, just one year and then up to now almost 3 years of hell. And so like everyone else I guess I ask myself why, what did I do, hadnt I already paid enough, but I suppose there is a plan for us all and we cant change that. I guess I just feel tired of fighting for normality, I feel like Ive been forced to do that all of my adult life, apart from that one year and nobody could have been more grateful for it than me. And yes I feel Ive been robbed, I dont want a lot just a normal life for me and my family as we all do. Ive said if I could just have five more years like that one I would be content. I guess I have to carry on fighting but sometimes you wonder why you have to fight so hard just for a normal existence. Hugs Tracy

"being tired of fighting for normality"

You sum it up tracy.

I am tired Jinx as I said, but not quite defeated yet and still at the moment prepared to fight for us all in any way I can - see Lisa Presley may not do any good but who knows got to be worth a shot mate.

Well said. It's worth a shot. You never know what may happen.