I'm in really bad shape, folks. I'm having a lot of psychotic and suicidal thoughts and everything that I try fails to help me. My therapist has suggested hospitalization and I'm seriously thinking about it. I doubt that they can do anything to help me in the hospital and yet I fear that I will end my life if I don't get some relief from this pain.

Andy Cutler warns readers of his book to never go into the hospital and he has some good reasons for that. In general most physicians don't believe in chronic mercury poisoning and they won't give people like us appropriate care.

I've been lucky to find some open minded people, even in the mental health field, that believe that I am suffering from mercury poisoning so that is in my favor.

I've been doing the Cutler Protocol (25 mg of DMSA and 50 mg of ALA) and although I have greatly lowered the doses of my chelating agents they still seem to aggravate my symptoms a lot.

What should I do? I'm open to all sorts of ideas because I don't want to go into the hospital but my options now are limited. I'm thinking about stopping all chelation for awhile to see if that will make me improve. On the other hand that could be the worst thing that I could do.

Also, I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and the dark days of Autumn are pulling my spirits down and it's only going to get worse.

Aaron I am so sorry that you are feeling so unwell....I hope that things will turn around for you real soon.

I am not sure what Cutler writes about diet, I will have to get the book, I have been trying to spending anymore money..but I have to find out what his prerequisites to chelating are.

Anyway at the risk of being repetitive, I want to ask you how long you have been working at cleaning up your digestion and elimination before embarking on the Cutler protocol...I am not sure if Cutler addresses candida cleanup, whole food natural diets and restoring adrenals before attempting chelation...they are the keys to successful chelation. You cannot eliminate the mercury efficiently if these issues are not addressed, instead of being eliminated, it will get recycled and can go to the brain where it causes problems such as what you are experiencing.

Have you eliminated sugar, dairy and gluten from your diet Aaron?

Sandi

I am not any kind of professional and do not have any right to gamble with your health, particulary when you are experiencing severe mental symptoms from this toxicity, which is outright dangerous and causes many to end their lives.

I hope you do not get hospitalised. But if you feel you have to, then you might be wise to, especially if you have some in that area who do believe in mercury poisoning and can at least realise it's the mercury and not you. I am in that position right now, close to ending my life and do not know which way to turn. Mysymptos are fighteing and not making sense and I am making a lot of effort. So I am frankly scared.

Not much consolation to you I'm sure at this stage.

But I would definitely get off that stuff (ALA) you may even feel worse for a while as the mercury has to move about again and settle, but I would not stay on that dose of lipoic acid. I would not get on it at all at the moment until you have figured out whether it's the culprit or not.

You might find DMSA ok to stay on. But it's up to you if you want to go off both. But for sure, I would be off that ALA in a heartbeat. And if you ever try that stuff again, I would not go over 12 mg of it. You will see in Andy's book where he mentions a trial run of DMSA and ALA together as a test for mercury, however he gives a warning about this too as it could seriously aggravate mental / emotional symptoms and people ought to be warned before doing it. He said that the mental / emotional symptoms are often diagnostic enough to prove mercury.

Now that was at 100 mg of ALA and I think the test was for one day. You are taking 50 mg of ALA and obviously doing proper rounds of it and I can imagine it maybe tipping you over that fine line.

It's hard to say, the toxicity is there anyway, so you won't know what is doing what. But I'd go off it if I was you.

Not sure if you're following a candida diet, but you would know how serious candida is too. In fact, it is so serious, that some people have ended their lives from this alone. It is typical to have this alongside mercury and it makes mercury more toxic also.

So just make sure that you are not experiencing more than necessary. mercury is evil it is ferocious, but combine it with yeast/bacteria, and you got even more problems. Particuarly when you're chelating also, as DMSA and ALA excerbate yeast too. But diet can be essential.

I'm sure you've heard all this before. But I don't know what to say, I hope that you will get a little relief very soon, just to tide you over. It may well be the ALA aggravating what's already happening, but enough to where it's pushing you further than ever.

Keep me posted. I know it's near impossible to cope or remain sane with this.

Hi sorry, just realised that Sandi had posted before me lol and I pretty much repeated some of what she had alreadysuggested. But I agree Sandi. Definitely. the odd thing about the diet is this. If I cheat on it, I think I'm getting away with it and I have no idea that when I do this, even for oneday, the toxins are building up massively and the prolonged aftereffects are dangerous and can push me very close to suicide. This time around, I am in a state worse than I've known. I'm terrified now of cheating on the diet. This is how much of a bad state I'm in.

Aaron - I second and third the comments about diet, but also, have you had your thyroid checked? I know I keep bringing this up, but low levels of thyroid hormone made me feel the most depressed I have ever felt, and there were days when I wanted to die. A lack of T3 and adrenal insufficiency can cause serious depression, psychotic behaviour, suicidal tendencies. Have a look at this.

http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/thyroid-depression-mental-health/


This is worth looking into before you start any drug / hospitalization regime that might make you worse. I know that within days of starting Armour I was laughing with my kids and feeling that it might just be worth hanging on. Your body and brain NEEDS that T3.

The TSH test is useless: the Free T3 and T4 levels are more indicative of the level of thyroid hormones at cellular level. Please have it checked out.

Nicola

I admit that my diet isn't all that it should be. I have cut way back on sugar in the last couple of years (stopped drinking pop) but I don't think that I have the self control to go on a real hard core diet. No scolding, please!!! I'm not up to it.

I am going to get the results of my thyroid test next Monday. I am taking a supplement similar to Armour and it seems to have raised my energy level somewhat but my mood is still terrible.

At my age (43) and with no family I don't see any reason to go on living anyway. There's nothing to look forward to but heaven and I have to die to get there.

HI Aaron, . The diet suggestions are there because they have helped many of us cope better with mercury and often removed or lessened some of the symptoms. CAndida and mercury can cause some of the same symptoms, sometimes it's hard to distinguish them apart.

It is not easy to do the diet no, but if you decide to give it a shot ever, you can vent on here anytime about it, but never ever feel pressured about that side of things. Nobody is obligated to feel they should follow anything. I can't either, unless I feel ready myself.

disappointing that the thyroid stuff you are on is not doing something for you moods and helping alleviate the depression etc. No wonder you feel like throwing in the towel.

DEath is very tempting I know. I am afraid of suicide, yet at times it seems like the answer (yet I know it's not). It's hard to fight against this and believe in God at the sametime.

But you're not alone, many of us (believers too) are in a lot of pain. Little help I guess to hear that. But hope you will try and hold on. I sometimes look up a chapter in the bible "Isaiah 65, verse 17 - 25, which gives me some hope. This renewal has not occured yet and is yet to come.

I hope you don't think Im imparting false hope, but it's something that has been pointed out to me many times as something to look forward to, especially in the worst of my pain. Hope it might bring some small comfort (maybe not, but it's there if you feel like checking it out).

I am sorry if I came across as scolding Aaron and at times when I first did the diet I wanted to die too..... giving up alcohol, cigarettes and my favorite foods just seemed like too much for me. But I chose life and I am glad I did. My husband still drinks and smokes and eats junk food and I can see his body slowly disintegrate. It is hard to keep quiet at times, but he knows what he is doing and has made his choice. It is tough but you cannot eliminate heavy metals unless you change your diet.

I still follow the diet asI think it is the way that God intended us to eat...whole natural foods that nourish and provide the strength we need to battle this evil. I hope that you will consider my words without seeing them as scolding...I am not trying to act "holier than thou," only imparting what I consider to be the most important prerequisite to chelating successfully without causing further damage.

best luck and feel better soon.
Sandi
xoxo

Buy a UV lamp for SAD.

I have been on the strict candida diet for 16mths, i have forgotten what bread and sugar taste like. i know that if i cheat that would be it, its just not worth it for me, i dont think i would have made it this far without the diet, it has saved me. i too had to give up cigs and alcohol, never in a million years thought i could do that,
By the way the candida diet doesnt have to be boring, its not just meat and veg, there are loads of recipes on the whole approach website, also the yeast connection discussion board.

Even when i am better, i will still do the diet to a certain extent i think like sandi that it is what god intended us to eat, i dont think i could eat sugar again now anyway, i stick to stevia, i have to buy it on the internet as they dont sell it here in the UK.

I felt good for a few hours yesterday and about one hour today. It's like my brain is trying to shake off something holding it back (mercury?) but it can only do it for short amounts of time.

I'm going to take a test to see if candida or other parasites are a problem for me.

HI Aaron, as far as I know, many tests do not always show candida etc and a person can think they don't have it and they may well have it.

the best test to see if you have a problem is the diet and see if you get a die off effect, which will mean you definitely have yeast problems. Die off usually consists of, extreme tiredness (sleepiness), some headaches, heavy eyes, sore eyes, a feeling of being fogged, dizziness, a feeling of almost being drunk (because of the yeast releasing its alcohols into the system), etc.

That's just another suggestion for you, if nothing shows up in tests and you still can't get any relief, this might be a last resort.

It is highly possible that your body is definitely trying to detox mercury as well.